Her Ambivert Self
The best memories in her life must be of childhood. A chubby girl playing with her few girlfriends, learning how to ride bicycles, and watching her brothers play football with a ball made of bark, rags, and hemp threads. She enjoyed this but she would sit far so as not to end up with a ball on her fat cheeks. Sitting and watching silently from afar was fun.
She invited everyone into her life but as she grew up her personality revealed itself. Having a lot of people in her life and going to all the places became exhausting. She opted for fewer friends and staying indoors most of her free time. She would stay quiet, not interested in meeting people, reflected more and travelled occasionally.
She described herself as “an introvert” until when she adjusted, embraced the changes, accepted herself and found herself again as “an ambivert”. This became the life of a 30s grown woman. This is her personality. If this is new to you then Justin Scott got you covered.
Explaining what an ambivert is to the people in her life is not something that she prefers to do. She, mostly avoid explaining herself as to why she did not attend the Friday drink up with her colleagues the other week but attended George’s overclouded wedding, or why she refused to dance at Grace’s birthday but danced to the last song at Doreen’s baby shower. She indeed is unpredictable and her personality confuses people.
If you have an Ambivert friend, you will agree with me that they are nice people yet not easy to deal with. We are informed of how to deal with introverts but not a hybrid of both extroverts and introverts. To make this easy for you, these are few things you should know about her ambivert self;
1. She is (not) an extrovert
She is not fond of clouded and noisy places. She is not a frequently social person. I did not say, she is anti-social. That would not be proper.
Her bed is comfier than the couches or long bar chairs as she waits for her drinking and dancing friends to enjoy themselves before she starts begging to go back. “What an exhausting long night!!!” is what she will be thinking of the whole night. Her time there may expire without you noticing. She will therefore need to recharge and that is when the introverted self reveals itself.
She may however enjoy the Dinner date arranged by her friends, colleagues without thinking of her comfy bed. “What a beautiful night!!!” is what she will say at the end.
2. She is (not) a talker
I know you invited her to a group lunch and she spoke, only when talked to, she did not start the conversation. This was not the case when the group went for a safari in Ngorongoro where you witnessed the other side of her. Wow! she can be deep in a conversation. So maybe she did not prefer your “small talk”.
The introversion or extroversion personality within her comes with preferences and interests in the activities in question or the people involved. However, it does not mean she didn’t like any of you. She just didn’t talk, she listened.
3. The downtime of herself is still important
Despite her flexibility in spending time with others, occasionally, she also prefers blocking her time from everyone else. She will not have reasons to make you understand as you will not get it. She will lock herself in her house this weekend read books or binge watch tv shows despite her attending and danced to your party the other week.
We, human beings are different. We speak, engage and communicate differently. You are allowed to have your own personality so is she. Be an introvert, extrovert or adjusting to the world as an ambivert. That is what defines you.
As we accepted introvert and extrovert traits there is still room to understand ambiverts. Her personality does not have to make sense to you. Some are still trying to understand their personalities, make this easy for them.
Her Ambivert self is struggling to make you happy despite her not preferring to be active this week or month. Unfair, I would say. Allow her to choose herself first, allow her to live. Allow her to reciprocate with no harm but with love and comfortability.
As Helen Hunt said
“I think I’m a weird combination of deeply introverted and very daring. I can feel both those things working.”
She is therefore okay, just an introverted extrovert.
